Lord Almighty, A Christian Site

Jesus is lord! Wheee!!!!So there I was, just cruising theGlittering Insanity: i don't want to smoke cigs. bad bad.
internet looking for a batch of pornography. I go to anPunkerslut: Technicalities.
old-time favorite site, and what do I see!? No content,Glittering Insanity: lol!
no join, no free-tour (heh, what I used every time), noPunkerslut: Man, Jesus is awesome... Will you put me
news, just "Jesus Christ is Lord." And below that "Clickin handcuffs and break through the door?
Here for Freedom." Yeah, okay, so about this time, IGlittering Insanity: lol.
was in the mood for some freedom. So I hit that offerGlittering Insanity: kinky kinky.
up, and it basically brought me to this weird ChristianGlittering Insanity: is that site serious?
site. I was like, "No, no, no, man, take me back, I'll hit upPunkerslut: lol, yeah
the Christ link," and so, I go there, and am I indeedPunkerslut:
amused. I see this weird site, and I decide to watch thePunkerslut: That's the funny part.
intro. To see it, go here... if you didn't see it, let mePunkerslut: Man, this is never gonna get old.
describe it. There's a jail cell (I like how they did thePunkerslut: [replay]
neat designs for a small padlock) and there's writing onGlittering Insanity: PURE FREEDOM TOUR
the walls. First, you have some of the essentials,Punkerslut: As Orwell once said, "Slavery is freedom,
"Pornography," and "Smoking." Then some more of theignorance is strength, war is peace."
good ones with "Overeating," and "Drinking," andGlittering Insanity: ..... they like blue and yellow.
"Homosexuality." And then this dude just squatting onPunkerslut: And white!
the floor, with chains on his hands. And then boom! AGlittering Insanity: .. and black.
cross blows up the front door and flies throughPunkerslut: And....... yellow.
(padlocks aren't very effective). The dude smiles and itGlittering Insanity: i said yellow!! >:o
looks like he suffered a facial, self-inflicted gunshotPunkerslut: [was already in Mexico by the time you
wound. I mean, it's pretty rough; that's all I'm going say.could respond]
He throws his arms at the cross and the end. I'm notGlittering Insanity: lol. what the
really sure what they're trying to say, exactly. Ishell.-------------------------Punkerslut:
overeating and smoking sinful? Probably. I mean, ifPunkerslut: WATCH THAT NOOOWWWWWW!!!!!
you're Catholic, Presbyterian, or any otherThe Plastic Jesus: Alright.
happiness-is-evil cult, sure. Drinking is bad? Bah. AThe Plastic Jesus: Aw, wtf!
bottle of vodka made me felt more euphoric thanPunkerslut: loooool
Jesus when I did believe in a god. Honestly, they don'tPunkerslut: isn't that coool!????????
ever say that Jesus feels better than alcohol, becauseThe Plastic Jesus: Totally.
then the world would just totally stop taking themPunkerslut: There's a flying cross!
seriously (I mean, even more so than now). Yeah,The Plastic Jesus: Is that guy you?
yeah, yeah... I could go on mocking them for a long, longPunkerslut: Hey, bug off!
time. Instead, I showed it to a whole bunch of people,The Plastic Jesus: lol
and here are somePunkerslut: I'm not imprisoned by drinking... Drinking is
responses...-------------------------Punkerslut: lolmy liberator.
Ely: whatPunkerslut: And don't start with your, "It may seem
Ely: what the hell is going onthat way, my brother in Christ...."
Punkerslut: lolThe Plastic Jesus: lol
Ely: That's the nicest dressed prisoner I've ever seenPunkerslut: Man, they have an SWF on alcoholism.
Ely: burn him at the stake!Shit, does anyone think you can be an alcoholic
Punkerslut: And so ugly.-------------------------Punkerslut:WITHOUT being homeless?
Megan: wow.The Plastic Jesus: lol, I'm not sure... and remember if
Megan: that is so inspirational..you like drugs you MUST be homeless!
Punkerslut: lolPunkerslut: True.
Punkerslut: Man, I better cut back on myThe Plastic Jesus: WTF, this site sucks.
Homosexuality and drinking. =(Punkerslut: lol-------------------------Punkerslut:
Megan: now i have the urge to handcuff myself andPunkerslut: WATCH!!!!
wait for a huge gold cross to set me free!Punkerslut: Did you see it?
Punkerslut: Yay!!!!John E: yeap.
Megan: very kinky ;-)Punkerslut: Oh, man.
Punkerslut: Man, this is so rough.Punkerslut: Was that awesome, or what.
Punkerslut: God was at the door, "Have you beenJohn E: I have no speakers, heh.
writing your secret fantasies on my walls again?"Punkerslut: Aw.
Megan: very crazy.John E: so maybe. ;-)
Punkerslut: I'm-ma write an article about this.Punkerslut: There was crappy music in the
Megan: because homosexuality is definitely a reasonbackground, is all.
to be in jailPunkerslut: Besides, it's an SWF!
Punkerslut: loooolPunkerslut: With a flying cross!
Megan: i mean, homosexuality is sooooPunkerslut: And.... homosexuality!
gay...-------------------------Punkerslut: lolJohn E: I wish I had a flying cross.
Letter God: delightfulJohn E: Instead all I've got is an intense desire to nap.
Letter God: I hope jesus comes through with the jailJohn E: Damn that was smooth, be back in an hour,
break if I ever get locked uplol.-------------------------Punkerslut: GO HERE NOW!
Punkerslut: Yeah, he never did that for me. =(SymTrips: ugh WTF?
Punkerslut: God was at the door, "Have you beenPunkerslut: lol, wasn't that awesome?
writing your secret fantasies on my walls again?"Punkerslut: Dude, now don't told me that you haven't
Letter God: heh-------------------------Punkerslut: lolfelt imprisoned by homosexuality, too.
Richard: ..SymTrips: I wasn't paying too much attention to it...
Punkerslut: lolwhat was the message?
Punkerslut: Isn't that FREAKING COOL!?Punkerslut: Uuummmm, being gay with inanimate
Richard: noobjects is okay with god.
Richard: no it isn'tSymTrips: o ok
Punkerslut: Pffft, nerd.SymTrips: hahaha-------------------------Punkerslut: lol, this
Punkerslut: Sinner!-------------------------Punkerslut: You'llis the coolest!
LOVE this.Rachel: OK
Dan: oh man, that was so lameRachel: ill check it out in a min.
Punkerslut: lolPunkerslut: CHECK IT OUT!!!!?????
Dan: he should reject god and go look at some pornPunkerslut: lol, it's hilarious
and stuffRachel: since when wereu so religious
Punkerslut: Hell yeah.Punkerslut: lol.... I'm not
Punkerslut: And get drunk.Punkerslut: I think Christianity is a sham.
Dan: yeahRachel: o
Dan: religious people suck, like those that are heavyRachel: lolic
into itPunkerslut: And that little movie is the most amusing
Dan: if you want to believe in god hey whatever, butever.
some people take it too far for my likingPunkerslut: Look! Pornography and drinking on the
Punkerslut: Yeah.-------------------------Punkerslut: lolsame wall! It's heaven!
Caley: Mmm..... sacrilicious.Rachel: ,lol
Punkerslut: Oh, hell yeah.-------------------------Punkerslut:Rachel: ya
lolPunkerslut: Man, I gotta find more people to show this
Darren: I don't get itvideo to.
Darren: ;pRachel: lol-------------------------Punkerslut: Duuuuuude!!!!!
Punkerslut: It's funny!Punkerslut: GO HERE NOW!
Punkerslut: He was.... the guy is..... there are things.....Uncouth Ranting: Oh dear.
awww, forget it.Punkerslut: lol
Darren: OhhPunkerslut: Isn't that
Darren: Nevermind I get itgreat?-------------------------Punkerslut: Check it out!!!!!!
Darren: ;pNiD: heeheeheeheeeheeheehee
Punkerslut: =)Punkerslut: WHATCHYA" THINK~!?
Darren: homosexuality was theNiD: it's hilarious
best-------------------------Punkerslut: Jesus Is LorD!Punkerslut: lol, it's not as bad when you're
WHEE!drunk.-------------------------Punkerslut: Check it out!!!!!!!
Derrek: yayCoincidence: What in the fuck was that?
Punkerslut: You'll like that site.Punkerslut: Wasn't that the coolest!?
Punkerslut: lol, trust meCoincidence: If by the coolest you mean the lamest.
Derrek: oh geez this is beyond lamePunkerslut: How the hell do you masturbate with
Derrek: hahahandcuffs on?
Punkerslut: lol, rightCoincidence: Oh, come on, dude! Use your imagination!
Punkerslut: Man, I could get drunk and watch this.... alllllllCoincidence: Ummm...
dayyyyyy....-------------------------Punkerslut: ETHAN!!!!!Coincidence: Why did you send this to me?
Ethan: heyPunkerslut: Why DIDN'T I send it to you?
Punkerslut: I just discovered the coolest thing evar!!!Coincidence: Please... Must I answer that?
Punkerslut: Jesus Is Lord! WHEE!Punkerslut: Well, it's funny, man.
Ethan: that was funCoincidence: True, and in a way, sad.
Punkerslut: lolPunkerslut: Don't dwell on it too much. =(
Punkerslut: Don't tell me you didn't like it.Coincidence: Why is that guy on his knees at the
Ethan: it was absurdend?
Punkerslut: lol, it soooo wasPunkerslut: Well, he WAS chilling out in a room that
Punkerslut: Man, I'm-ma get drunk and watch this ahad the word "homosexuality" written on the wall.
whole bunch of times![cough] And he had handcuffs on.... did I mention he
Ethan: ok-------------------------Punkerslut: lolwas in a room where "homosexuality" was written on
Punkerslut: Okay.the wall?
Punkerslut: WATCH!Coincidence: You did.
Glittering Insanity: ooooo bondage.Punkerslut: Oh.-------------------------Also, we respect
Glittering Insanity: muaha.your right to believe as you choose, but those in the
Glittering Insanity: this is making me upset.following religions are not allowed to become mentors
homosexuality is right up there with violence and such.with Setting Captives Free: Muslims, Mormons,
NYARGH.Jehovah's Witnesses, Catholics, Seventh-Day
Punkerslut: WHAT VIOLENCE!?Adventists, Christian Scientists or Unitarians.--
Punkerslut: There's drinking and overeating!SettingCaptivesFree.comFor Life,PunkerslutPunkerslut
Punkerslut: It's the wall of "Things To DO!"(or Andy Carloff) has been writing essays and poetry
Glittering Insanity: oh. well. porno thenon social issues which have caught his attention for
Glittering Insanity: lol!several years. His website provides a complete list of
Glittering Insanity: pornography smoking overeatingall of these writings. His life experience includes
drinking homosexualityhomelessness, squating in New Orleans and LA,
Glittering Insanity: that is the wall of things to do.dropping out of high school, getting expelled from
Punkerslut: Yeaaaaaaap.college for "subversive activities," and a myriad of
Glittering Insanity: well. if it said smoking pot.other revolutionary actions.