| Good Wishes For The New Year. Please feel free to | | | | dental insurance. |
| send this to a loved one. | | | | May all your ex's move to Texas. |
| May you be healthier this year than last year. | | | | May your medical premiums cost less than your son's |
| May you have more money this year than last year. | | | | medical school. |
| May you drive a bigger car this year. | | | | May your cable repair guy get there while you still live |
| May you have a bigger house this year. | | | | there. |
| May your brother-in-law get out of jail. | | | | May you find a toupee with velcro. |
| May your mother-in-law move out. | | | | May you lose a few pounds so you don't have to use |
| May you be acquitted. | | | | the freight elevator. |
| May your father-in-law always have bail money. | | | | May your laser eye surgery be successful so you can |
| May your dog scoop his own poop. | | | | stop getting into cop cars and saying, "To the airport, |
| May your partner return with your safe. | | | | please." |
| May your neighbor return with your wife. | | | | And if you should wake up from this ridiculous dream, |
| May your accountant find more loopholes. | | | | may you have enough sleeping pills to get back to |
| May your lawyer find your accountant. | | | | sleep. |
| May you find a Bluetooth system that's covered by | | | | |