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Lord Almighty, A Christian Site

Jesus is lord! Wheee!!!!So there I was, justPunkerslut:  Technicalities.
cruising the internet looking for a batch of
pornography. I go to an old-time favoriteGlittering  Insanity:  lol!
site, and what do I see!? No content, no
join, no free-tour (heh, what I used everyPunkerslut: Man, Jesus is awesome... Will
time), no news, just "Jesus Christ is Lord."you put me in handcuffs and break through the
And below that "Click Here for Freedom."door?
Yeah, okay, so about this time, I was in the
mood for some freedom. So I hit that offerGlittering  Insanity:  lol.
up, and it basically brought me to this weird
Christian site. I was like, "No, no, no,Glittering  Insanity:  kinky  kinky.
man, take me back, I'll hit up the Christ
link," and so, I go there, and am I indeedGlittering  Insanity:  is that site serious?
amused. I see this weird site, and I decide
to watch the intro. To see it, go here... ifPunkerslut:  lol,  yeah
you didn't see it, let me describe it.
There's a jail cell (I like how they did thePunkerslut:
neat designs for a small padlock) and there's
writing on the walls. First, you have somePunkerslut:  That's  the  funny  part.
of the essentials, "Pornography," and
"Smoking." Then some more of the good onesPunkerslut: Man, this is never gonna get
with "Overeating," and "Drinking," andold.
"Homosexuality." And then this dude just
squatting on the floor, with chains on hisPunkerslut:  [replay]
hands. And then boom! A cross blows up the
front door and flies through (padlocks aren'tGlittering  Insanity:  PURE  FREEDOM  TOUR
very effective). The dude smiles and it
looks like he suffered a facial,Punkerslut: As Orwell once said, "Slavery is
self-inflicted gunshot wound. I mean, it'sfreedom, ignorance is strength, war is
pretty rough; that's all I'm going say. Hepeace."
throws his arms at the cross and the end.
I'm not really sure what they're trying toGlittering Insanity: ..... they like blue
say, exactly. Is overeating and smokingand  yellow.
sinful? Probably. I mean, if you're
Catholic, Presbyterian, or any otherPunkerslut:  And  white!
happiness-is-evil cult, sure. Drinking is
bad? Bah. A bottle of vodka made me feltGlittering  Insanity:  ..  and  black.
more euphoric than Jesus when I did believe
in a god. Honestly, they don't ever say thatPunkerslut:  And....... yellow.
Jesus feels better than alcohol, because then
the world would just totally stop taking themGlittering  Insanity:  i  said  yellow!! >:o
seriously (I mean, even more so than now).
Yeah, yeah, yeah... I could go on mockingPunkerslut: [was already in Mexico by the
them for a long, long time. Instead, Itime  you  could  respond]
showed it to a whole bunch of people, and
here are someGlittering Insanity: lol. what the
responses...-------------------------Punkerslhell.-------------------------Punkerslut:
ut: lol
Punkerslut:  WATCH  THAT  NOOOWWWWWW!!!!!
Ely:  what
The  Plastic  Jesus:  Alright.
Ely:  what  the  hell  is  going  on
The  Plastic  Jesus:  Aw,  wtf!
Punkerslut:  lol
Punkerslut:  loooool
Ely: That's the nicest dressed prisoner I've
ever  seenPunkerslut:  isn't  that  coool!????????
Ely:  burn  him  at  the  stake!The  Plastic  Jesus:  Totally.
Punkerslut: And soPunkerslut:  There's  a  flying  cross!
ugly.-------------------------Punkerslut:
The  Plastic  Jesus:  Is  that  guy  you?
Megan:  wow.
Punkerslut:  Hey,  bug  off!
Megan:  that  is  so  inspirational..
The  Plastic  Jesus:  lol
Punkerslut:  lol
Punkerslut: I'm not imprisoned by
Punkerslut: Man, I better cut back on mydrinking... Drinking  is  my  liberator.
Homosexuality  and  drinking.  =(
Punkerslut: And don't start with your, "It
Megan: now i have the urge to handcuffmay  seem that way, my brother in Christ...."
myself and wait for a huge gold cross to set
me  free!The  Plastic  Jesus:  lol
Punkerslut:  Yay!!!!Punkerslut: Man, they have an SWF on
alcoholism. Shit, does anyone think you can
Megan:  very  kinky  ;-)be  an  alcoholic  WITHOUT  being  homeless?
Punkerslut:  Man,  this  is  so  rough.The Plastic Jesus: lol, I'm not sure... and
remember if you like drugs you MUST be
Punkerslut: God was at the door, "Have youhomeless!
been writing your secret fantasies on my
walls  again?"Punkerslut:  True.
Megan:  very  crazy.The  Plastic  Jesus:  WTF,  this site sucks.
Punkerslut: I'm-ma write an article aboutPunkerslut:
this.lol-------------------------Punkerslut:
Megan: because homosexuality is definitely aPunkerslut:  WATCH!!!!
reason  to  be  in  jail
Punkerslut:  Did  you  see  it?
Punkerslut:  looool
John  E:  yeap.
Megan: i mean, homosexuality is soooo
gay...-------------------------Punkerslut:Punkerslut:  Oh,  man.
lol
Punkerslut:  Was  that  awesome,  or  what.
Letter  God:  delightful
John  E:  I  have  no  speakers,  heh.
Letter God: I hope jesus comes through with
the  jail  break  if  I  ever  get  locked upPunkerslut:  Aw.
Punkerslut: Yeah, he never did that for me.John  E:  so  maybe.  ;-)
=(
Punkerslut: There was crappy music in the
Punkerslut: God was at the door, "Have youbackground,  is  all.
been writing your secret fantasies on my
walls  again?"Punkerslut:  Besides,  it's  an  SWF!
Letter God:Punkerslut:  With  a  flying  cross!
heh-------------------------Punkerslut: lol
Punkerslut:  And.... homosexuality!
Richard:  ..
John  E:  I  wish  I  had  a  flying  cross.
Punkerslut:  lol
John E: Instead all I've got is an intense
Punkerslut:  Isn't  that  FREAKING  COOL!?desire  to  nap.
Richard:  noJohn E: Damn that was smooth, be back in an
hour,
Richard:  no  it  isn'tlol.-------------------------Punkerslut: GO
HERE  NOW!
Punkerslut:  Pffft,  nerd.
SymTrips:  ugh  WTF?
Punkerslut:
Sinner!-------------------------Punkerslut:Punkerslut:  lol,  wasn't  that  awesome?
You'll  LOVE  this.
Punkerslut: Dude, now don't told me that you
Dan:  oh  man,  that  was  so  lamehaven't felt imprisoned by homosexuality,
too.
Punkerslut:  lol
SymTrips: I wasn't paying too much attention
Dan: he should reject god and go look atto  it...  what  was  the  message?
some  porn  and  stuff
Punkerslut: Uuummmm, being gay with
Punkerslut:  Hell  yeah.inanimate  objects  is  okay  with  god.
Punkerslut:  And  get  drunk.SymTrips:  o  ok
Dan:  yeahSymTrips:
hahaha-------------------------Punkerslut:
Dan: religious people suck, like those thatlol,  this  is  the  coolest!
are  heavy  into  it
Rachel:  OK
Dan: if you want to believe in god hey
whatever, but some people take it too far forRachel:  ill  check  it  out  in  a  min.
my  liking
Punkerslut:  CHECK  IT  OUT!!!!?????
Punkerslut:
Yeah.-------------------------Punkerslut:Punkerslut:  lol,  it's  hilarious
lol
Rachel:  since  when  wereu  so  religious
Caley:  Mmm..... sacrilicious.
Punkerslut:  lol.... I'm  not
Punkerslut: Oh, hell
yeah.-------------------------Punkerslut:Punkerslut:  I think Christianity is a sham.
lol
Rachel:  o
Darren:  I  don't  get  it
Rachel:  lolic
Darren:  ;p
Punkerslut: And that little movie is the
Punkerslut:  It's  funny!most  amusing  ever.
Punkerslut: He was.... the guy is.....Punkerslut: Look! Pornography and drinking
there  are  things..... awww,  forget  it.on  the  same  wall! It's  heaven!
Darren:  OhhRachel:  ,lol
Darren:  Nevermind  I  get  itRachel:  ya
Darren:  ;pPunkerslut: Man, I gotta find more people to
show  this  video  to.
Punkerslut:  =)
Rachel:
Darren: homosexuality was thelol-------------------------Punkerslut:
best-------------------------Punkerslut:Duuuuuude!!!!!
Jesus  Is  LorD!  WHEE!
Punkerslut: GO  HERE  NOW!
Derrek:  yay
Uncouth  Ranting:  Oh  dear.
Punkerslut:  You'll  like  that  site.
Punkerslut:  lol
Punkerslut:  lol,  trust  me
Punkerslut: Isn't that
Derrek:  oh  geez  this  is  beyond  lamegreat?-------------------------Punkerslut:
Check  it  out!!!!!!
Derrek:  haha
NiD:  heeheeheeheeeheeheehee
Punkerslut:  lol,  right
Punkerslut:  WHATCHYA"  THINK~!?
Punkerslut: Man, I could get drunk and watch
this.... alllllllNiD:  it's  hilarious
dayyyyyy....-------------------------Punkersl
ut:  ETHAN!!!!!Punkerslut: lol, it's not as bad when you're
drunk.-------------------------Punkerslut:
Ethan:  heyCheck  it  out!!!!!!!
Punkerslut: I just discovered the coolestCoincidence:  What  in  the  fuck  was that?
thing  evar!!!
Punkerslut:  Wasn't  that  the  coolest!?
Punkerslut: Jesus  Is  Lord!  WHEE!
Coincidence: If by the coolest you mean the
Ethan:  that  was  funlamest.
Punkerslut:  lolPunkerslut: How the hell do you masturbate
with  handcuffs  on?
Punkerslut: Don't tell me you didn't like
it.Coincidence: Oh, come on, dude! Use your
imagination!
Ethan:  it  was  absurd
Coincidence:  Ummm...
Punkerslut:  lol,  it  soooo  was
Coincidence:  Why  did  you send this to me?
Punkerslut: Man, I'm-ma get drunk and watch
this  a  whole  bunch  of  times!Punkerslut:  Why  DIDN'T  I  send it to you?
Ethan:Coincidence:  Please... Must I answer that?
ok-------------------------Punkerslut: lol
Punkerslut:  Well,  it's  funny,  man.
Punkerslut:  Okay.
Coincidence:  True,  and  in  a  way,  sad.
Punkerslut:  WATCH!
Punkerslut:  Don't  dwell on it too much. =(
Glittering  Insanity:  ooooo  bondage.
Coincidence: Why is that guy on his knees at
Glittering  Insanity:  muaha.the  end?
Glittering Insanity: this is making mePunkerslut: Well, he WAS chilling out in a
upset. homosexuality is right up there withroom that had the word "homosexuality"
violence  and  such. NYARGH.written on the wall. [cough] And he had
handcuffs on.... did I mention he was in a
Punkerslut:  WHAT  VIOLENCE!?room where "homosexuality" was written on the
wall?
Punkerslut: There's drinking and overeating!
Coincidence:  You  did.
Punkerslut: It's the wall of "Things To DO!"
Punkerslut:
Glittering  Insanity: oh. well. porno thenOh.-------------------------Also, we respect
your right to believe as you choose, but
Glittering  Insanity:  lol!those in the following religions are not
allowed to become mentors with Setting
Glittering Insanity: pornography smokingCaptives Free: Muslims, Mormons, Jehovah's
overeating  drinking  homosexualityWitnesses, Catholics, Seventh-Day Adventists,
Christian Scientists or Unitarians.--
Glittering Insanity: that is the wall ofSettingCaptivesFree.comFor
things  to  do.Life,PunkerslutPunkerslut (or Andy Carloff)
has been writing essays and poetry on social
Punkerslut:  Yeaaaaaaap.issues which have caught his attention for
several years. His website provides a
Glittering Insanity: well. if it saidcomplete list of all of these writings. His
smoking  pot.life experience includes homelessness,
squating in New Orleans and LA, dropping out
Glittering Insanity: i don't want to smokeof high school, getting expelled from college
cigs. bad  bad.for "subversive activities," and a myriad of
other revolutionary actions.



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