| Turning Bad News Into Benefitby M. LaVora Perry | | | | books, and to thereby inspire all kinds of people. So I |
| You have permission to post this article on your Web | | | | renewed my determination and offered this prayer: "I |
| site or in youre-zine provided that the bylines are | | | | will do what I came into this world to do-no matter |
| included. A notice is appreciated | | | | what." Then I stepped on and continued hold nothing |
| In the early Fall of 2003 I asked the head children's | | | | back in my efforts to get my book recognized and |
| room librarian in a Cleveland suburb "Why did you | | | | read. |
| decide not to carry my book, Taneesha's Treasures | | | | Since my bout with the librarian blues there have been |
| of the Heart, in your library system?" She answered, "It | | | | other disappointments. But I will keep turning every |
| has awkward sentence structure, is too preachy and | | | | circumstance into a benefit based on my deep prayer |
| has too much going on between Buddhism and | | | | to be the best writer I can and to thereby help people |
| diabetes. Children won't like it. We don't carry those | | | | believe in and go for their deepest, biggest, wildest |
| kinds of books." | | | | dreams. So here's been what's happening on the up |
| With each of her words my stomach knotted into a | | | | side after I quit singing my sad song: |
| tighter ball. In less than a minute the librarian had | | | | 1.) I was invited to New York City to appear at the |
| precisely articulated my worst fear about myself as a | | | | Langston Hughes Community Library and Cultural |
| writer-I'm no good. | | | | Center in Corona Queens soon after it was awarded |
| All the people who told me they loved my story and | | | | a SGI-USA Liberty Award for its efforts to foster |
| that reading it uplifted them and their children were | | | | multicultural awareness. The head librarian who invited |
| either lying to keep from hurting my feelings or didn't | | | | me had no idea I was affiliated with the SGI-USA until |
| know quality writing from junk. That's what I told | | | | after he asked me to visit. Straight out of the "There |
| myself. | | | | Are No Coincidences in Life" bag. |
| Although I had appeared on the Tavis Smiley Show on | | | | 2.) A school librarian in a different Cleveland suburb, |
| National Public Radio to discuss Taneesha's Treasures | | | | raved about my book and my appearance at her |
| of the Heart only weeks after it was published, | | | | school. She posted her comments on and |
| although the largest school and librarian systems in | | | | 3.) Zambian schools (yes, Africa) will be carrying the |
| Ohio (Cleveland) both picked up the book with high | | | | book! |
| praise, and although the Cleveland Municipal School | | | | 4.) Children in an online G.R.I.T.S kids' book club ("Girls & |
| District put the book on their reading list, the rejection | | | | Guys Raised in the South") voted to interview me and |
| by the suburban children's room librarian bummed me | | | | feature me and Taneesha's Treasures... on their Web |
| out. | | | | site. The club's founder is a Texan librarian. |
| Maybe I was especially bummed because one of the | | | | 5.) Taneesha's Treaures... was listed in the October |
| things I'd been praying for over the previous several | | | | newsletter of the Black Caucus of the American |
| months was for Taneesha's Treasures of the Heart | | | | Library Association. |
| to be in libraries across the United States. | | | | 6.) Taneesha's Treasures... was prominently displayed |
| So I prayed and sought guidance. My biggest obstacle | | | | as a holiday stocking-stuffer in the nationally distributed |
| was how could I have the heart to tell folks to read | | | | November-December, 2003 issue of Black Issue Book |
| my story if it stank? I self-published my book using the | | | | Review. |
| services of a co-publisher. I had poured my life into | | | | 7.) Taneesha's Treasures... was featured in the Fall |
| getting the book noticed. After speaking to the librarian | | | | 2003 SGI Quarterly-an international Buddhist publication. |
| I wondered, "Have I blown my retirement money and | | | | 8.) Children's groups in Zambia, Kenya, South Africa |
| invested hours of time and energy for nothing?" | | | | and Malaysia are reading the book. |
| I called Cindy Carlson of Chicago, who is an appointed | | | | 9.) The Poet's & Writers League of Greater Cleveland |
| leader in the Buddhist organization to which I | | | | selected Taneesha's Treasures...to be included as part |
| belong-Soka Gakkai International (SGI)-USA. "Cindy, the | | | | of their Writers & Their Friends program in which the |
| librarian said this and she said that," I moaned. "What if | | | | story will transcribed into a play and performed |
| she's right? What if my book's no good?" | | | | onstage at the Cleveland Playhouse in a highly |
| Cindy reminded me that Taneesha's Treasures of the | | | | publicized event-only 25 written works are chosen to |
| Heart gave people a positive feeling. So the question | | | | be featured in this way. |
| was not was it good, but did it create value? She said | | | | 10.) I've been nominated for inclusion in Who's Who in |
| it definitely did so based on readers' reactions to it. She | | | | America, 2005. |
| said the book didn't have to be perfect to be value | | | | Recently, I went back to the suburban library to find |
| creative. | | | | out if, in light of my recent successes, the librarian had |
| Then I called my friend here in Cleveland, Barb Jenkins, | | | | changed her mind. Turns out she hadn't, but that was |
| who is an appointed SGI-USA leader as well. "Barb," I | | | | okay, because I had totally transformed mine. I could |
| told her, "I feel like a fake. I feel like I have no business | | | | tell this was so, because when an assistant librarian |
| even trying to be a writer." She said, "LaVora, why are | | | | said, "The person who has your book is out today; so |
| you letting one negative voice drown out a chorus of | | | | give me your address and we'll mail it back to you," my |
| positive ones?" | | | | heart beat stayed steady and stomach was knot-free. |
| Barb asked me to face my funky inner demons. She | | | | I wrote my address on a slip of paper. Then, instead of |
| helped me see that the librarian was showing me my | | | | needed to fight the urge to slink out of the nearest exit |
| weakness/doubt/lack of faith in my Buddha nature-my | | | | in disgrace, I casually checked out a couple of books |
| highest self. It was that self-doubt that I needed to | | | | for my kids before leaving with my held and sprits high. |
| defeat. | | | | Later, when I received my book in themail from the |
| Through prayer and the words of those two wise | | | | librarian I did not take it as tangible proof of some |
| women, I came to realize that as a writer I certainly | | | | personal or literary defect. Instead I understood that |
| hope Taneesha's Treasures of the Heart is the worst | | | | Taneesha's Treasures of the Heart was not the book |
| book I ever write. Goodness knows I plan on writing | | | | for that library at that time. And I was grateful to have |
| until the day I drop; so if I've hit my peak with my first | | | | the book back, because the Louis Stokes branch-the |
| book, I'm in trouble. | | | | main branch-of the Cleveland Public Library had me |
| That's not my plan. I aim to continuously develop and | | | | down as a featured author for a Kwaanza event and |
| learn my craft. So Taneesha-as well and widely as | | | | my sales had been so great I was running low on |
| she is being received-is just the beginning. Not only that, | | | | inventory and more books were being printed. I |
| but the simple truth is not everybody is going to like | | | | needed my book returned to me so that it could get it |
| what I write. Big deal. I don't like everything I read of | | | | into the hands of someone who would appreciate it. |
| other folks' writing either. I need to become so wise | | | | And with the gift of hindsight I saw that I had also |
| and strong that neither praise nor criticism sway me | | | | needed the librarian's initial rejection of my work-it was |
| from my original goal. | | | | the push that set me on my journey to a higher state |
| My intention from the start was to sell millions of | | | | of mind. |