| Unexpected life changes. Anticipated | | | | of nature above all things? Or are you more |
| transitions. Long, sleepless nights. What do | | | | of a 'comforts of home', family and fun kind |
| these three things have in common? The | | | | of person? Do you value charity over letting |
| ability to provoke one of the most haunting | | | | others find their way on their own, or is it |
| questions in the library of human | | | | the other way around? Knowing what you truly |
| introspectives: | | | | stand for is a vital component of good |
| | | | decision-making. |
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| "What on earth am I going to do with the rest | | | | |
| of my life?" | | | | 5. What do I want to be remembered for? |
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| While I can't pretend to answer to this | | | | What legacy do you want to leave here when |
| question for anyone other than myself, I can | | | | you pass on? What do you want people to say |
| offer those in this position some basic tips | | | | about your life and you as a person? What do |
| on how to ensure that their future turns out | | | | you want to be known for? What would you like |
| as bright as their class valedictorian said | | | | your obituary to say about you? Knowing where |
| it would be. | | | | you want to end up makes choosing the path to |
| | | | get there, and keeping track of your |
| | | | progress, infinitely easier. |
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| Take Time To Create A Map | | | | |
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| | | | Key Points To Consider |
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| Too often, when faced with a major (or even | | | | |
| not so major) life decision, we tend to | | | | |
| either take the first decent choice that | | | | There are three key points to keep in mind |
| presents itself or we allow circumstances to | | | | when you are faced with making life-changing |
| choose for us by default - putting off the | | | | decisions. |
| decision until the inexorable current of life | | | | |
| sweeps us past the turning point. As you can | | | | |
| imagine, this is not the best way to get what | | | | |
| you want out of life. But the options we are | | | | |
| faced with in life can be so wildly | | | | |
| divergent, or so deceptively similar, that it | | | | |
| is difficult to know which turning to take. | | | | |
| Wouldn't it be great if we had some kind of | | | | 1. Look before you leap. |
| road map that would help us know which paths | | | | |
| to follow and which to pass by? | | | | |
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| | | | In life, as in commercial marketing, "Buy now |
| | | | before this opportunity is gone!" is almost |
| Below are five questions that everybody | | | | always code-speak for, "Buy now, before you |
| should ask himself or herself before starting | | | | have time to read the fine print." True, from |
| out on any new path. The answers to these | | | | time to time real, honest-to-goodness, |
| questions should then be used to guide | | | | amazing, once-in-a-lifetime offers do come |
| decisions and to direct actions - when a | | | | around. But if you have laid down a |
| choice comes up, simply compare the various | | | | foundation of well-considered choices and |
| options with your stated desires and choose | | | | clear-minded focus before this happens, you |
| the option that takes you closer to (or at | | | | will have the presence of mind and strength |
| least moves you the least farthest away from) | | | | of purpose to know when to jump and when to |
| your destination - your stated goals and | | | | pass, and be much more capable of telling the |
| desires. | | | | difference between a missed opportunity and a |
| | | | close call. |
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| | | | 2. Life is no longer a "one chance per |
| | | | person" event. |
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| 1. What does success mean to me? | | | | |
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| | | | The times, they are definitely a'changing, |
| | | | and one of the best things to come out of |
| Be very specific. "I want to be rich," is not | | | | that change is that we now understand that |
| an answer - just what does "rich" mean, | | | | people change as well and that not only is |
| anyway? Are you thinking of a set number? And | | | | this normal, it is to be expected. The career |
| if so, why? Or is the term "rich" a | | | | or life that suited you perfectly in your |
| substitute for certain freedoms and | | | | 20's will most likely not fit the middle-aged |
| opportunities that you view as coming only | | | | you, no more than the same wardrobe or |
| with money - and by limiting them to being | | | | lifestyle would. Sometimes this is merely the |
| accessed only through money, are you missing | | | | result of the normal process of personal |
| out on other alternative pathways? | | | | evolution we all go through as we age and |
| | | | mature, and sometimes it comes about suddenly |
| | | | in response to reality-shifting events and |
| | | | life-changing transitions such as living |
| Some more specific alternatives to "I want to | | | | through a traumatic event, losing a job or |
| be rich," depending on the individual, might | | | | getting married. |
| be: "I want to have enough net income to meet | | | | |
| my current financial responsibilities without | | | | |
| strain, plus have time and money left over | | | | |
| for travel," or "I want to be able to | | | | However change comes, be prepared to go with |
| comfortably afford a jet-setting lifestyle in | | | | the flow. Don't worry about "all that time I |
| New York City," or "I want to spend 4 days a | | | | spent in grad school," or what your friends |
| week at home with my kids," etc. | | | | and family will say. In the first instance, |
| | | | there is no such thing as "sunk costs" in |
| | | | life - 90% of nearly any education or life |
| | | | experience is 100% transferable to new |
| | | | situations and new outlets. In sports they |
| | | | call it "cross-training," and an athlete |
| | | | doesn't consider his or her training complete |
| | | | without in. In the second instance, well, if |
| You should try to come up with at least three | | | | they love you they will want you to be happy |
| answers to the question of what success | | | | and if they don't love you, then who cares |
| really means to you personally, with each one | | | | what they think? Besides, they're not the |
| reflecting a different facet of what you feel | | | | ones who have to live this life - you are. |
| makes up a truly successful life. And keep | | | | |
| the money issue to just one statement - after | | | | |
| all, such things as personal fulfillment, | | | | |
| spiritual meaning and other essential needs | | | | Also falling under this heading is the |
| and values cannot be solved, acquired or even | | | | admonition not to trade a good life now for |
| influenced by money | | | | some nebulous "better tomorrow," such as |
| | | | spending your life zombie-ing through a |
| | | | career you hate for the promise of a |
| | | | pensioned retirement. All too often, these |
| One of the biggest obstacles to success is | | | | "tomorrows," if they ever do come, are no |
| that most of us have never consciously | | | | better than the "nows" you wasted. And as |
| explored what that means to us, aside from | | | | often as not the stress of living an unhappy |
| some vague and nebulous idea of fame, fortune | | | | life permanently cripples or even kills |
| or other worldly success. Knowing what | | | | people, physically or otherwise, well before |
| success really means to you - what you hope | | | | they can get to their imagined golden |
| or imagine that these generic definitions of | | | | "tomorrow." |
| success would actually provide and how you | | | | |
| want those things to physically look like in | | | | |
| your life - allows you to weigh your choices | | | | |
| more accurately. | | | | 3. Trying to find your "one, true purpose" is |
| | | | a waste of life. |
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| 2. What are my non-negotiable needs? | | | | |
| | | | We are all put here on this earth for any |
| | | | number of reasons - some big, some small and |
| | | | most of which we will never understand or |
| List all the things that you envision as | | | | even realize we've participated in until well |
| inescapable parameters of a successful and | | | | after they've become distant memory. Spending |
| enjoyable life. Family, travel, no debt, | | | | too much time trying to scry your "true |
| pleasant work environment, social status, | | | | purpose" in the tea leaves of life can take |
| contributions to society, spiritual | | | | your attention and energy away from creating |
| involvement, public acclaim, love, | | | | the kind of life that would actually support |
| excitement, comfort - any or all of these, | | | | the accomplishment these purposes in the |
| and any others you can think of are | | | | first place. |
| legitimate needs that when not met create an | | | | |
| environment of stress, want and | | | | |
| disempowerment in your life. Knowing what you | | | | |
| are not willing to do without makes the | | | | A far better is alternative to create what I |
| relative values of different options clearer. | | | | call a "Groundhog Day-Proof Life." Based on |
| | | | the Bill Murray movie in which his character |
| | | | has to live the same day over and over, this |
| | | | concept involves creating a life that |
| 3. What are my non-negotiable boundaries? | | | | reflects your values, offers you |
| | | | opportunities to challenge yourself and is |
| | | | fulfilling enough and just plain pleasant |
| | | | enough so that if by some strange cosmic |
| List all the things that you absolutely do | | | | fluke you became trapped in any given day of |
| not want present in your life. If the idea of | | | | your life, it would be a good thing rather |
| working in a standard hierarchical office | | | | than a tragedy. Living this sort of life |
| environment makes you ill, put that down. If | | | | virtually ensures that you will be who and |
| you can't stand the thought of living in a | | | | wherer you need to be to fulfill any purpose |
| cold climate, add that to the list. If being | | | | you may have been sent here to accomplish, |
| poked fun at about your physical condition or | | | | while at the same time providing you with a |
| other attributes makes life unlivable, note | | | | wonderful and rewarding "rest of your life" |
| that as well. By knowing what you will not | | | | in the process. |
| tolerate, many choices become much easier to | | | | |
| make. Plus, it allows you to set down rules | | | | |
| and policies about who and what you will | | | | |
| invite into your life and the standards of | | | | Summary |
| behavior you will, and will not, tolerate. | | | | |
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| | | | Getting the most out of life isn't about |
| 4. What are my key values? | | | | living "right". It's about living well. |
| | | | Learning to consciously steer your life in |
| | | | the direction you want to take it, making the |
| | | | choice to live by your own set of values and |
| Spend some time searching your soul to come | | | | desires and making sure that you get the most |
| up with a list of your basic values, creating | | | | out of the limited days you are given to work |
| a life around which would make you the person | | | | with ensures that when the time comes for |
| you want to be and allow you to live the life | | | | your life to pass before your eyes in review, |
| you want to live. Are you the type who values | | | | the show will definitely be worth the price |
| honesty, clean/green living and a deep love | | | | of the admission. |