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What Am I Going To Do With The Rest Of My Life?

Unexpected life changes. Anticipatedof nature above all things? Or are you more
transitions. Long, sleepless nights. What doof a 'comforts of home', family and fun kind
these three things have in common? Theof person? Do you value charity over letting
ability to provoke one of the most hauntingothers find their way on their own, or is it
questions in the library of humanthe other way around? Knowing what you truly
introspectives:stand for is a vital component of good
decision-making.
"What on earth am I going to do with the rest
of  my  life?"5.  What  do  I  want  to  be remembered for?
While I can't pretend to answer to thisWhat legacy do you want to leave here when
question for anyone other than myself, I canyou pass on? What do you want people to say
offer those in this position some basic tipsabout your life and you as a person? What do
on how to ensure that their future turns outyou want to be known for? What would you like
as bright as their class valedictorian saidyour obituary to say about you? Knowing where
it  would  be.you want to end up makes choosing the path to
get there, and keeping track of your
progress,  infinitely  easier.
Take  Time  To  Create  A  Map
Key  Points  To  Consider
Too often, when faced with a major (or even
not so major) life decision, we tend to
either take the first decent choice thatThere are three key points to keep in mind
presents itself or we allow circumstances towhen you are faced with making life-changing
choose for us by default - putting off thedecisions.
decision until the inexorable current of life
sweeps us past the turning point. As you can
imagine, this is not the best way to get what
you want out of life. But the options we are
faced with in life can be so wildly
divergent, or so deceptively similar, that it
is difficult to know which turning to take.
Wouldn't it be great if we had some kind of1.  Look  before  you  leap.
road map that would help us know which paths
to  follow  and  which  to  pass  by?
In life, as in commercial marketing, "Buy now
before this opportunity is gone!" is almost
Below are five questions that everybodyalways code-speak for, "Buy now, before you
should ask himself or herself before startinghave time to read the fine print." True, from
out on any new path. The answers to thesetime to time real, honest-to-goodness,
questions should then be used to guideamazing, once-in-a-lifetime offers do come
decisions and to direct actions - when aaround. But if you have laid down a
choice comes up, simply compare the variousfoundation of well-considered choices and
options with your stated desires and chooseclear-minded focus before this happens, you
the option that takes you closer to (or atwill have the presence of mind and strength
least moves you the least farthest away from)of purpose to know when to jump and when to
your destination - your stated goals andpass, and be much more capable of telling the
desires.difference between a missed opportunity and a
close  call.
2. Life is no longer a "one chance per
person"  event.
1.  What  does  success  mean  to  me?
The times, they are definitely a'changing,
and one of the best things to come out of
Be very specific. "I want to be rich," is notthat change is that we now understand that
an answer - just what does "rich" mean,people change as well and that not only is
anyway? Are you thinking of a set number? Andthis normal, it is to be expected. The career
if so, why? Or is the term "rich" aor life that suited you perfectly in your
substitute for certain freedoms and20's will most likely not fit the middle-aged
opportunities that you view as coming onlyyou, no more than the same wardrobe or
with money - and by limiting them to beinglifestyle would. Sometimes this is merely the
accessed only through money, are you missingresult of the normal process of personal
out  on  other  alternative  pathways?evolution we all go through as we age and
mature, and sometimes it comes about suddenly
in response to reality-shifting events and
life-changing transitions such as living
Some more specific alternatives to "I want tothrough a traumatic event, losing a job or
be rich," depending on the individual, mightgetting  married.
be: "I want to have enough net income to meet
my current financial responsibilities without
strain, plus have time and money left over
for travel," or "I want to be able toHowever change comes, be prepared to go with
comfortably afford a jet-setting lifestyle inthe flow. Don't worry about "all that time I
New York City," or "I want to spend 4 days aspent in grad school," or what your friends
week  at  home  with  my  kids,"  etc.and family will say. In the first instance,
there is no such thing as "sunk costs" in
life - 90% of nearly any education or life
experience is 100% transferable to new
situations and new outlets. In sports they
call it "cross-training," and an athlete
doesn't consider his or her training complete
without in. In the second instance, well, if
You should try to come up with at least threethey love you they will want you to be happy
answers to the question of what successand if they don't love you, then who cares
really means to you personally, with each onewhat they think? Besides, they're not the
reflecting a different facet of what you feelones  who  have to live this life - you are.
makes up a truly successful life. And keep
the money issue to just one statement - after
all, such things as personal fulfillment,
spiritual meaning and other essential needsAlso falling under this heading is the
and values cannot be solved, acquired or evenadmonition not to trade a good life now for
influenced  by  moneysome nebulous "better tomorrow," such as
spending your life zombie-ing through a
career you hate for the promise of a
pensioned retirement. All too often, these
One of the biggest obstacles to success is"tomorrows," if they ever do come, are no
that most of us have never consciouslybetter than the "nows" you wasted. And as
explored what that means to us, aside fromoften as not the stress of living an unhappy
some vague and nebulous idea of fame, fortunelife permanently cripples or even kills
or other worldly success. Knowing whatpeople, physically or otherwise, well before
success really means to you - what you hopethey can get to their imagined golden
or imagine that these generic definitions of"tomorrow."
success would actually provide and how you
want those things to physically look like in
your life - allows you to weigh your choices
more  accurately.3. Trying to find your "one, true purpose" is
a  waste  of  life.
2.  What  are  my  non-negotiable  needs?
We are all put here on this earth for any
number of reasons - some big, some small and
most of which we will never understand or
List all the things that you envision aseven realize we've participated in until well
inescapable parameters of a successful andafter they've become distant memory. Spending
enjoyable life. Family, travel, no debt,too much time trying to scry your "true
pleasant work environment, social status,purpose" in the tea leaves of life can take
contributions to society, spiritualyour attention and energy away from creating
involvement, public acclaim, love,the kind of life that would actually support
excitement, comfort - any or all of these,the accomplishment these purposes in the
and any others you can think of arefirst  place.
legitimate needs that when not met create an
environment of stress, want and
disempowerment in your life. Knowing what you
are not willing to do without makes theA far better is alternative to create what I
relative values of different options clearer.call a "Groundhog Day-Proof Life." Based on
the Bill Murray movie in which his character
has to live the same day over and over, this
concept involves creating a life that
3.  What  are  my  non-negotiable boundaries?reflects your values, offers you
opportunities to challenge yourself and is
fulfilling enough and just plain pleasant
enough so that if by some strange cosmic
List all the things that you absolutely dofluke you became trapped in any given day of
not want present in your life. If the idea ofyour life, it would be a good thing rather
working in a standard hierarchical officethan a tragedy. Living this sort of life
environment makes you ill, put that down. Ifvirtually ensures that you will be who and
you can't stand the thought of living in awherer you need to be to fulfill any purpose
cold climate, add that to the list. If beingyou may have been sent here to accomplish,
poked fun at about your physical condition orwhile at the same time providing you with a
other attributes makes life unlivable, notewonderful and rewarding "rest of your life"
that as well. By knowing what you will notin  the  process.
tolerate, many choices become much easier to
make. Plus, it allows you to set down rules
and policies about who and what you will
invite into your life and the standards ofSummary
behavior  you  will,  and will not, tolerate.
Getting the most out of life isn't about
4.  What  are  my  key  values?living "right". It's about living well.
Learning to consciously steer your life in
the direction you want to take it, making the
choice to live by your own set of values and
Spend some time searching your soul to comedesires and making sure that you get the most
up with a list of your basic values, creatingout of the limited days you are given to work
a life around which would make you the personwith ensures that when the time comes for
you want to be and allow you to live the lifeyour life to pass before your eyes in review,
you want to live. Are you the type who valuesthe show will definitely be worth the price
honesty, clean/green living and a deep loveof the admission.



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