| Unexpected life changes. Anticipated
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| | of a 'comforts of home', family and fun
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| transitions. Long, sleepless nights. What
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| | kind of person? Do you value charity over
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| do these three things have in common? The
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| | letting others find their way on their
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| ability to provoke one of the most
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| | own, or is it the other way around?
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| haunting questions in the library of
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| | Knowing what you truly stand for is a
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| human introspectives:
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| | vital component of good decision-making.
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|
| |
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| "What on earth am I going to do with the
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| | 5. What do I want to be remembered for?
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| rest of my life?"
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| |
|
|
| |
| | What legacy do you want to leave here
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| While I can't pretend to answer to this
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| | when you pass on? What do you want people
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| question for anyone other than myself, I
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| | to say about your life and you as a
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| can offer those in this position some
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| | person? What do you want to be known for?
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| basic tips on how to ensure that their
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| | What would you like your obituary to say
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| future turns out as bright as their class
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| | about you? Knowing where you want to end
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| valedictorian said it would be.
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| | up makes choosing the path to get there,
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|
| |
| | and keeping track of your progress,
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| Take Time To Create A Map
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| | infinitely easier.
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|
| |
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| Too often, when faced with a major (or
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| | Key Points To Consider
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| even not so major) life decision, we tend
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| |
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| to either take the first decent choice
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| | There are three key points to keep in
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| that presents itself or we allow
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| | mind when you are faced with making
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| circumstances to choose for us by default
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| | life-changing decisions.
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| - putting off the decision until the
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| |
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| inexorable current of life sweeps us past
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| the turning point. As you can imagine,
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| this is not the best way to get what you
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| | 1. Look before you leap.
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| want out of life. But the options we are
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| |
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| faced with in life can be so wildly
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| | In life, as in commercial marketing, "Buy
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| divergent, or so deceptively similar,
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| | now before this opportunity is gone!" is
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| that it is difficult to know which
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| | almost always code-speak for, "Buy now,
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| turning to take. Wouldn't it be great if
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| | before you have time to read the fine
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| we had some kind of road map that would
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| | print." True, from time to time real,
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| help us know which paths to follow and
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| | honest-to-goodness, amazing,
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| which to pass by?
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| | once-in-a-lifetime offers do come around.
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|
| |
| | But if you have laid down a foundation of
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| Below are five questions that everybody
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| | well-considered choices and clear-minded
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| should ask himself or herself before
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| | focus before this happens, you will have
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| starting out on any new path. The answers
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| | the presence of mind and strength of
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| to these questions should then be used to
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| | purpose to know when to jump and when to
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| guide decisions and to direct actions -
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| | pass, and be much more capable of telling
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| when a choice comes up, simply compare
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| | the difference between a missed
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| the various options with your stated
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| | opportunity and a close call.
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| desires and choose the option that takes
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| |
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| you closer to (or at least moves you the
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| | 2. Life is no longer a "one chance per
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| least farthest away from) your
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| | person" event.
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| destination - your stated goals and
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| |
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| desires.
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| | The times, they are definitely
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|
| |
| | a'changing, and one of the best things to
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|
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| | come out of that change is that we now
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|
| |
| | understand that people change as well and
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| 1. What does success mean to me?
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| | that not only is this normal, it is to be
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|
| |
| | expected. The career or life that suited
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| Be very specific. "I want to be rich," is
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| | you perfectly in your 20's will most
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| not an answer - just what does "rich"
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| | likely not fit the middle-aged you, no
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| mean, anyway? Are you thinking of a set
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| | more than the same wardrobe or lifestyle
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| number? And if so, why? Or is the term
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| | would. Sometimes this is merely the
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| "rich" a substitute for certain freedoms
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| | result of the normal process of personal
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| and opportunities that you view as coming
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| | evolution we all go through as we age and
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| only with money - and by limiting them to
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| | mature, and sometimes it comes about
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| being accessed only through money, are
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| | suddenly in response to reality-shifting
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| you missing out on other alternative
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| | events and life-changing transitions such
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| pathways?
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| | as living through a traumatic event,
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|
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| | losing a job or getting married.
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| Some more specific alternatives to "I
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| |
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| want to be rich," depending on the
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| | However change comes, be prepared to go
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| individual, might be: "I want to have
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| | with the flow. Don't worry about "all
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| enough net income to meet my current
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| | that time I spent in grad school," or
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| financial responsibilities without
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| | what your friends and family will say. In
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| strain, plus have time and money left
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| | the first instance, there is no such
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| over for travel," or "I want to be able
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| | thing as "sunk costs" in life - 90% of
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| to comfortably afford a jet-setting
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| | nearly any education or life experience
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| lifestyle in New York City," or "I want
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| | is 100% transferable to new situations
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| to spend 4 days a week at home with my
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| | and new outlets. In sports they call it
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| kids," etc.
| |
| | "cross-training," and an athlete doesn't
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|
| |
| | consider his or her training complete
|
|
| |
| | without in. In the second instance, well,
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|
| |
| | if they love you they will want you to be
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| You should try to come up with at least
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| | happy and if they don't love you, then
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| three answers to the question of what
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| | who cares what they think? Besides,
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| success really means to you personally,
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| | they're not the ones who have to live
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| with each one reflecting a different
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| | this life - you are.
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| facet of what you feel makes up a truly
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| |
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| successful life. And keep the money issue
| |
| | Also falling under this heading is the
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| to just one statement - after all, such
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| | admonition not to trade a good life now
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| things as personal fulfillment, spiritual
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| | for some nebulous "better tomorrow," such
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| meaning and other essential needs and
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| | as spending your life zombie-ing through
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| values cannot be solved, acquired or even
| |
| | a career you hate for the promise of a
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| influenced by money
| |
| | pensioned retirement. All too often,
|
|
| |
| | these "tomorrows," if they ever do come,
|
| One of the biggest obstacles to success
| |
| | are no better than the "nows" you wasted.
|
| is that most of us have never consciously
| |
| | And as often as not the stress of living
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| explored what that means to us, aside
| |
| | an unhappy life permanently cripples or
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| from some vague and nebulous idea of
| |
| | even kills people, physically or
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| fame, fortune or other worldly success.
| |
| | otherwise, well before they can get to
|
| Knowing what success really means to you
| |
| | their imagined golden "tomorrow."
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| - what you hope or imagine that these
| |
| |
|
| generic definitions of success would
| |
| | 3. Trying to find your "one, true
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| actually provide and how you want those
| |
| | purpose" is a waste of life.
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| things to physically look like in your
| |
| |
|
| life - allows you to weigh your choices
| |
| | We are all put here on this earth for any
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| more accurately.
| |
| | number of reasons - some big, some small
|
|
| |
| | and most of which we will never
|
| 2. What are my non-negotiable needs?
| |
| | understand or even realize we've
|
|
| |
| | participated in until well after they've
|
| List all the things that you envision as
| |
| | become distant memory. Spending too much
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| inescapable parameters of a successful
| |
| | time trying to scry your "true purpose"
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| and enjoyable life. Family, travel, no
| |
| | in the tea leaves of life can take your
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| debt, pleasant work environment, social
| |
| | attention and energy away from creating
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| status, contributions to society,
| |
| | the kind of life that would actually
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| spiritual involvement, public acclaim,
| |
| | support the accomplishment these purposes
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| love, excitement, comfort - any or all of
| |
| | in the first place.
|
| these, and any others you can think of
| |
| |
|
| are legitimate needs that when not met
| |
| | A far better is alternative to create
|
| create an environment of stress, want and
| |
| | what I call a "Groundhog Day-Proof Life."
|
| disempowerment in your life. Knowing what
| |
| | Based on the Bill Murray movie in which
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| you are not willing to do without makes
| |
| | his character has to live the same day
|
| the relative values of different options
| |
| | over and over, this concept involves
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| clearer.
| |
| | creating a life that reflects your
|
|
| |
| | values, offers you opportunities to
|
| 3. What are my non-negotiable boundaries?
| |
| | challenge yourself and is fulfilling
|
|
| |
| | enough and just plain pleasant enough so
|
| List all the things that you absolutely
| |
| | that if by some strange cosmic fluke you
|
| do not want present in your life. If the
| |
| | became trapped in any given day of your
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| idea of working in a standard
| |
| | life, it would be a good thing rather
|
| hierarchical office environment makes you
| |
| | than a tragedy. Living this sort of life
|
| ill, put that down. If you can't stand
| |
| | virtually ensures that you will be who
|
| the thought of living in a cold climate,
| |
| | and wherer you need to be to fulfill any
|
| add that to the list. If being poked fun
| |
| | purpose you may have been sent here to
|
| at about your physical condition or other
| |
| | accomplish, while at the same time
|
| attributes makes life unlivable, note
| |
| | providing you with a wonderful and
|
| that as well. By knowing what you will
| |
| | rewarding "rest of your life" in the
|
| not tolerate, many choices become much
| |
| | process.
|
| easier to make. Plus, it allows you to
| |
| |
|
| set down rules and policies about who and
| |
| | Summary
|
| what you will invite into your life and
| |
| |
|
| the standards of behavior you will, and
| |
| | Getting the most out of life isn't about
|
| will not, tolerate.
| |
| | living "right". It's about living well.
|
|
| |
| | Learning to consciously steer your life
|
| 4. What are my key values?
| |
| | in the direction you want to take it,
|
|
| |
| | making the choice to live by your own set
|
| Spend some time searching your soul to
| |
| | of values and desires and making sure
|
| come up with a list of your basic values,
| |
| | that you get the most out of the limited
|
| creating a life around which would make
| |
| | days you are given to work with ensures
|
| you the person you want to be and allow
| |
| | that when the time comes for your life to
|
| you to live the life you want to live.
| |
| | pass before your eyes in review, the show
|
| Are you the type who values honesty,
| |
| | will definitely be worth the price of the
|
| clean/green living and a deep love of
| |
| | admission.
|
| nature above all things? Or are you more
| |
| |
|
