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What Am I Going To Do With The Rest Of My Life?

Unexpected life changes. Anticipatedand fun kind of person? Do you value
transitions. Long, sleepless nights.charity over letting others find their
What do these three things have inway on their own, or is it the other way
common? The ability to provoke one ofaround? Knowing what you truly stand for
the most haunting questions in theis a vital component of good
library of human introspectives:decision-making.
"What on earth am I going to do with the5. What do I want to be remembered for?
rest of my life?"
What legacy do you want to leave here
While I can't pretend to answer to thiswhen you pass on? What do you want
question for anyone other than myself, Ipeople to say about your life and you as
can offer those in this position somea person? What do you want to be known
basic tips on how to ensure that theirfor? What would you like your obituary
future turns out as bright as theirto say about you? Knowing where you want
class valedictorian said it would be.to end up makes choosing the path to get
there, and keeping track of your
Take Time To Create A Mapprogress, infinitely easier.
Too often, when faced with a major (orKey Points To Consider
even not so major) life decision, we
tend to either take the first decentThere are three key points to keep in
choice that presents itself or we allowmind when you are faced with making
circumstances to choose for us bylife-changing decisions.
default - putting off the decision until
the inexorable current of life sweeps us
past the turning point. As you can
imagine, this is not the best way to get1. Look before you leap.
what you want out of life. But the
options we are faced with in life can beIn life, as in commercial marketing,
so wildly divergent, or so deceptively"Buy now before this opportunity is
similar, that it is difficult to knowgone!" is almost always code-speak for,
which turning to take. Wouldn't it be"Buy now, before you have time to read
great if we had some kind of road mapthe fine print." True, from time to time
that would help us know which paths toreal, honest-to-goodness, amazing,
follow and which to pass by?once-in-a-lifetime offers do come
around. But if you have laid down a
Below are five questions that everybodyfoundation of well-considered choices
should ask himself or herself beforeand clear-minded focus before this
starting out on any new path. Thehappens, you will have the presence of
answers to these questions should thenmind and strength of purpose to know
be used to guide decisions and to directwhen to jump and when to pass, and be
actions - when a choice comes up, simplymuch more capable of telling the
compare the various options with yourdifference between a missed opportunity
stated desires and choose the optionand a close call.
that takes you closer to (or at least
moves you the least farthest away from)2. Life is no longer a "one chance per
your destination - your stated goals andperson" event.
desires.
The times, they are definitely
a'changing, and one of the best things
to come out of that change is that we
1. What does success mean to me?now understand that people change as
well and that not only is this normal,
Be very specific. "I want to be rich,"it is to be expected. The career or life
is not an answer - just what does "rich"that suited you perfectly in your 20's
mean, anyway? Are you thinking of a setwill most likely not fit the middle-aged
number? And if so, why? Or is the termyou, no more than the same wardrobe or
"rich" a substitute for certain freedomslifestyle would. Sometimes this is
and opportunities that you view asmerely the result of the normal process
coming only with money - and by limitingof personal evolution we all go through
them to being accessed only throughas we age and mature, and sometimes it
money, are you missing out on othercomes about suddenly in response to
alternative pathways?reality-shifting events and
life-changing transitions such as living
Some more specific alternatives to "Ithrough a traumatic event, losing a job
want to be rich," depending on theor getting married.
individual, might be: "I want to have
enough net income to meet my currentHowever change comes, be prepared to go
financial responsibilities withoutwith the flow. Don't worry about "all
strain, plus have time and money leftthat time I spent in grad school," or
over for travel," or "I want to be ablewhat your friends and family will say.
to comfortably afford a jet-settingIn the first instance, there is no such
lifestyle in New York City," or "I wantthing as "sunk costs" in life - 90% of
to spend 4 days a week at home with mynearly any education or life experience
kids," etc.is 100% transferable to new situations
and new outlets. In sports they call it
"cross-training," and an athlete doesn't
consider his or her training complete
You should try to come up with at leastwithout in. In the second instance,
three answers to the question of whatwell, if they love you they will want
success really means to you personally,you to be happy and if they don't love
with each one reflecting a differentyou, then who cares what they think?
facet of what you feel makes up a trulyBesides, they're not the ones who have
successful life. And keep the moneyto live this life - you are.
issue to just one statement - after all,
such things as personal fulfillment,Also falling under this heading is the
spiritual meaning and other essentialadmonition not to trade a good life now
needs and values cannot be solved,for some nebulous "better tomorrow,"
acquired or even influenced by moneysuch as spending your life zombie-ing
through a career you hate for the
One of the biggest obstacles to successpromise of a pensioned retirement. All
is that most of us have nevertoo often, these "tomorrows," if they
consciously explored what that means toever do come, are no better than the
us, aside from some vague and nebulous"nows" you wasted. And as often as not
idea of fame, fortune or other worldlythe stress of living an unhappy life
success. Knowing what success reallypermanently cripples or even kills
means to you - what you hope or imaginepeople, physically or otherwise, well
that these generic definitions ofbefore they can get to their imagined
success would actually provide and howgolden "tomorrow."
you want those things to physically look
like in your life - allows you to weigh3. Trying to find your "one, true
your choices more accurately.purpose" is a waste of life.
2. What are my non-negotiable needs?We are all put here on this earth for
any number of reasons - some big, some
List all the things that you envision assmall and most of which we will never
inescapable parameters of a successfulunderstand or even realize we've
and enjoyable life. Family, travel, noparticipated in until well after they've
debt, pleasant work environment, socialbecome distant memory. Spending too much
status, contributions to society,time trying to scry your "true purpose"
spiritual involvement, public acclaim,in the tea leaves of life can take your
love, excitement, comfort - any or allattention and energy away from creating
of these, and any others you can thinkthe kind of life that would actually
of are legitimate needs that when notsupport the accomplishment these
met create an environment of stress,purposes in the first place.
want and disempowerment in your life.
Knowing what you are not willing to doA far better is alternative to create
without makes the relative values ofwhat I call a "Groundhog Day-Proof
different options clearer.Life." Based on the Bill Murray movie in
which his character has to live the same
3. What are my non-negotiableday over and over, this concept involves
boundaries?creating a life that reflects your
values, offers you opportunities to
List all the things that you absolutelychallenge yourself and is fulfilling
do not want present in your life. If theenough and just plain pleasant enough so
idea of working in a standardthat if by some strange cosmic fluke you
hierarchical office environment makesbecame trapped in any given day of your
you ill, put that down. If you can'tlife, it would be a good thing rather
stand the thought of living in a coldthan a tragedy. Living this sort of life
climate, add that to the list. If beingvirtually ensures that you will be who
poked fun at about your physicaland wherer you need to be to fulfill any
condition or other attributes makes lifepurpose you may have been sent here to
unlivable, note that as well. By knowingaccomplish, while at the same time
what you will not tolerate, many choicesproviding you with a wonderful and
become much easier to make. Plus, itrewarding "rest of your life" in the
allows you to set down rules andprocess.
policies about who and what you will
invite into your life and the standardsSummary
of behavior you will, and will not,
tolerate.Getting the most out of life isn't about
living "right". It's about living well.
4. What are my key values?Learning to consciously steer your life
in the direction you want to take it,
Spend some time searching your soul tomaking the choice to live by your own
come up with a list of your basicset of values and desires and making
values, creating a life around whichsure that you get the most out of the
would make you the person you want to belimited days you are given to work with
and allow you to live the life you wantensures that when the time comes for
to live. Are you the type who valuesyour life to pass before your eyes in
honesty, clean/green living and a deepreview, the show will definitely be
love of nature above all things? Or areworth the price of the admission.
you more of a 'comforts of home', family



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