| Unexpected life changes. Anticipated transitions. Long, | | | | love of nature above all things? Or are you more of a |
| sleepless nights. What do these three things have in | | | | 'comforts of home', family and fun kind of person? Do |
| common? The ability to provoke one of the most | | | | you value charity over letting others find their way on |
| haunting questions in the library of human | | | | their own, or is it the other way around? Knowing |
| introspectives: | | | | what you truly stand for is a vital component of good |
| | | | decision-making. |
| "What on earth am I going to do with the rest of my | | | | |
| life?" | | | | 5. What do I want to be remembered for? |
| | | | |
| While I can't pretend to answer to this question for | | | | What legacy do you want to leave here when you |
| anyone other than myself, I can offer those in this | | | | pass on? What do you want people to say about |
| position some basic tips on how to ensure that their | | | | your life and you as a person? What do you want to |
| future turns out as bright as their class valedictorian | | | | be known for? What would you like your obituary to |
| said it would be. | | | | say about you? Knowing where you want to end up |
| | | | makes choosing the path to get there, and keeping |
| Take Time To Create A Map | | | | track of your progress, infinitely easier. |
| | | | |
| Too often, when faced with a major (or even not so | | | | Key Points To Consider |
| major) life decision, we tend to either take the first | | | | |
| decent choice that presents itself or we allow | | | | There are three key points to keep in mind when you |
| circumstances to choose for us by default - putting off | | | | are faced with making life-changing decisions. |
| the decision until the inexorable current of life sweeps | | | | |
| us past the turning point. As you can imagine, this is not | | | | |
| the best way to get what you want out of life. But the | | | | |
| options we are faced with in life can be so wildly | | | | 1. Look before you leap. |
| divergent, or so deceptively similar, that it is difficult to | | | | |
| know which turning to take. Wouldn't it be great if we | | | | In life, as in commercial marketing, "Buy now before this |
| had some kind of road map that would help us know | | | | opportunity is gone!" is almost always code-speak for, |
| which paths to follow and which to pass by? | | | | "Buy now, before you have time to read the fine print." |
| | | | True, from time to time real, honest-to-goodness, |
| Below are five questions that everybody should ask | | | | amazing, once-in-a-lifetime offers do come around. But |
| himself or herself before starting out on any new path. | | | | if you have laid down a foundation of well-considered |
| The answers to these questions should then be used | | | | choices and clear-minded focus before this happens, |
| to guide decisions and to direct actions - when a | | | | you will have the presence of mind and strength of |
| choice comes up, simply compare the various options | | | | purpose to know when to jump and when to pass, |
| with your stated desires and choose the option that | | | | and be much more capable of telling the difference |
| takes you closer to (or at least moves you the least | | | | between a missed opportunity and a close call. |
| farthest away from) your destination - your stated | | | | |
| goals and desires. | | | | 2. Life is no longer a "one chance per person" event. |
| | | | |
| | | | The times, they are definitely a'changing, and one of |
| | | | the best things to come out of that change is that we |
| 1. What does success mean to me? | | | | now understand that people change as well and that |
| | | | not only is this normal, it is to be expected. The career |
| Be very specific. "I want to be rich," is not an answer - | | | | or life that suited you perfectly in your 20's will most |
| just what does "rich" mean, anyway? Are you thinking | | | | likely not fit the middle-aged you, no more than the |
| of a set number? And if so, why? Or is the term "rich" | | | | same wardrobe or lifestyle would. Sometimes this is |
| a substitute for certain freedoms and opportunities that | | | | merely the result of the normal process of personal |
| you view as coming only with money - and by limiting | | | | evolution we all go through as we age and mature, |
| them to being accessed only through money, are you | | | | and sometimes it comes about suddenly in response |
| missing out on other alternative pathways? | | | | to reality-shifting events and life-changing transitions |
| | | | such as living through a traumatic event, losing a job or |
| Some more specific alternatives to "I want to be rich," | | | | getting married. |
| depending on the individual, might be: "I want to have | | | | |
| enough net income to meet my current financial | | | | However change comes, be prepared to go with the |
| responsibilities without strain, plus have time and money | | | | flow. Don't worry about "all that time I spent in grad |
| left over for travel," or "I want to be able to | | | | school," or what your friends and family will say. In the |
| comfortably afford a jet-setting lifestyle in New York | | | | first instance, there is no such thing as "sunk costs" in |
| City," or "I want to spend 4 days a week at home with | | | | life - 90% of nearly any education or life experience is |
| my kids," etc. | | | | 100% transferable to new situations and new outlets. In |
| | | | sports they call it "cross-training," and an athlete doesn't |
| | | | consider his or her training complete without in. In the |
| | | | second instance, well, if they love you they will want |
| You should try to come up with at least three | | | | you to be happy and if they don't love you, then who |
| answers to the question of what success really | | | | cares what they think? Besides, they're not the ones |
| means to you personally, with each one reflecting a | | | | who have to live this life - you are. |
| different facet of what you feel makes up a truly | | | | |
| successful life. And keep the money issue to just one | | | | Also falling under this heading is the admonition not to |
| statement - after all, such things as personal fulfillment, | | | | trade a good life now for some nebulous "better |
| spiritual meaning and other essential needs and values | | | | tomorrow," such as spending your life zombie-ing |
| cannot be solved, acquired or even influenced by | | | | through a career you hate for the promise of a |
| money | | | | pensioned retirement. All too often, these "tomorrows," |
| | | | if they ever do come, are no better than the "nows" |
| One of the biggest obstacles to success is that most | | | | you wasted. And as often as not the stress of living |
| of us have never consciously explored what that | | | | an unhappy life permanently cripples or even kills |
| means to us, aside from some vague and nebulous | | | | people, physically or otherwise, well before they can |
| idea of fame, fortune or other worldly success. | | | | get to their imagined golden "tomorrow." |
| Knowing what success really means to you - what | | | | |
| you hope or imagine that these generic definitions of | | | | 3. Trying to find your "one, true purpose" is a waste of |
| success would actually provide and how you want | | | | life. |
| those things to physically look like in your life - allows | | | | |
| you to weigh your choices more accurately. | | | | We are all put here on this earth for any number of |
| | | | reasons - some big, some small and most of which |
| 2. What are my non-negotiable needs? | | | | we will never understand or even realize we've |
| | | | participated in until well after they've become distant |
| List all the things that you envision as inescapable | | | | memory. Spending too much time trying to scry your |
| parameters of a successful and enjoyable life. Family, | | | | "true purpose" in the tea leaves of life can take your |
| travel, no debt, pleasant work environment, social | | | | attention and energy away from creating the kind of |
| status, contributions to society, spiritual involvement, | | | | life that would actually support the accomplishment |
| public acclaim, love, excitement, comfort - any or all of | | | | these purposes in the first place. |
| these, and any others you can think of are legitimate | | | | |
| needs that when not met create an environment of | | | | A far better is alternative to create what I call a |
| stress, want and disempowerment in your life. | | | | "Groundhog Day-Proof Life." Based on the Bill Murray |
| Knowing what you are not willing to do without makes | | | | movie in which his character has to live the same day |
| the relative values of different options clearer. | | | | over and over, this concept involves creating a life that |
| | | | reflects your values, offers you opportunities to |
| 3. What are my non-negotiable boundaries? | | | | challenge yourself and is fulfilling enough and just plain |
| | | | pleasant enough so that if by some strange cosmic |
| List all the things that you absolutely do not want | | | | fluke you became trapped in any given day of your |
| present in your life. If the idea of working in a standard | | | | life, it would be a good thing rather than a tragedy. |
| hierarchical office environment makes you ill, put that | | | | Living this sort of life virtually ensures that you will be |
| down. If you can't stand the thought of living in a cold | | | | who and wherer you need to be to fulfill any purpose |
| climate, add that to the list. If being poked fun at about | | | | you may have been sent here to accomplish, while at |
| your physical condition or other attributes makes life | | | | the same time providing you with a wonderful and |
| unlivable, note that as well. By knowing what you will | | | | rewarding "rest of your life" in the process. |
| not tolerate, many choices become much easier to | | | | |
| make. Plus, it allows you to set down rules and policies | | | | Summary |
| about who and what you will invite into your life and | | | | |
| the standards of behavior you will, and will not, tolerate. | | | | Getting the most out of life isn't about living "right". It's |
| | | | about living well. Learning to consciously steer your life |
| 4. What are my key values? | | | | in the direction you want to take it, making the choice |
| | | | to live by your own set of values and desires and |
| Spend some time searching your soul to come up with | | | | making sure that you get the most out of the limited |
| a list of your basic values, creating a life around which | | | | days you are given to work with ensures that when |
| would make you the person you want to be and allow | | | | the time comes for your life to pass before your eyes |
| you to live the life you want to live. Are you the type | | | | in review, the show will definitely be worth the price of |
| who values honesty, clean/green living and a deep | | | | the admission. |